Three Good Things
At the end of any given day, it’s often surprisingly easy to remember what went wrong. The conversation we keep replaying. The thing we didn’t get done. The worry that followed us around all afternoon. The good moments were there too, but somehow they can be easier to overlook. Not because they don’t matter, but because our attention doesn’t always hold onto them quite as tightly. So why is that? It turns out that our brains are wired to be more alert to problems and potential threats than they are to the things that are going just fine. A frustrating interaction can linger with us long after several pleasant ones have faded from view. One worry can somehow take up more space than all the things that went right that day. It doesn’t mean we’re negative people, it simply means that noticing the good sometimes requires a little more intention. And positive psychology offers a simple way to practice doing just that.
The Three Good Things practice, developed through the work of psychologist Martin Seligman and his colleagues, asks us to pause at the end of the day and identify three things that went well and consider why they happened. The best part is, these three things don’t need to be significant or impressive to count. It could be something as simple as a good conversation, something that made you smile, or a moment when you felt peaceful. This practice helps us become more intentional about noticing experiences our minds might otherwise move right past. And there’s something very important in realizing just how much of life is made up of these ordinary moments. We tend to remember the milestones and look forward to the things circled on the calendar, but most of our days happen in the spaces in between. There is goodness there too, even when nothing particularly exciting is happening. When we begin paying attention to those smaller moments, an ordinary day can feel a little fuller. Not because anything about the day changed, but because we were more present for the life that was already happening.
This isn’t about looking on the bright side or pretending that difficult things aren’t difficult. Life is much more complicated than that, and there will be days when the hard things take up a lot of space. But something good can exist alongside something hard, and allowing ourselves to notice it doesn’t diminish either experience. We can feel uncertain and still laugh until our stomach hurts. We can carry something heavy and still have a moment when the sun hits our face and, for just a second, everything feels okay. The more often we make a habit of noticing what’s been good, the more likely we are to catch those moments while they’re actually happening. Instead of reaching the end of a week wondering where the time went, we begin collecting small moments along the way. Tonight, take a minute and think back over your day without searching for anything profound. Find one thing that was good, let yourself stay with it for a moment, and see what you begin to notice tomorrow.
